So I made the first version of this blog last night, decided I didn't like it, and deleted the whole thing. Why? Because I thought to myself: what if it was ridiculous? What if no one read it? What if it was ugly or no one cared what I had to say? What if my friends read it only because they felt sorry for me? and on and on. The questions can and do go on forever, if I let them. And I decided as I was trying to fall asleep last night that actually being nervous about writing a blog was the very best reason to write it.
It really doesn't matter if anyone ever reads this blog except me. It's essentially for me anyway, to put my thoughts out there, to let the world know I have a voice and I will use it. Did you go see The King's Speech last year when it came out? It was such a powerful movie (despite the one scene of excessive foul language, which is why it's rated R). If you didn't see it, King George VI is attempting to overcome his intense stammer in order to make public speeches to the country of England without embarrassing himself or the rest of the royal family. His rather odd therapist, Lionel Logue, provokes King George by sitting in a saint's chair in the church, and King George, sputtering with rage, yells for him to get out of the chair. "Why should I? Why should I listen to you?" responds Lionel. "Because I have a voice!" King George yells without a stammer.
So that's why I'm writing. Because I have a voice.
And I'm giving myself the freedom to epically fail in this endeavor, the freedom to write inconsistently, and the freedom to write about anything from cooking to home decorating to politics (which I probably won't ever want to write about). But nevertheless, I'm choosing to just let it be whatever it becomes.
